Description: The story you are about to read is true. Unfortunately, it’s my story; and the truth is often much more intriguing than fiction. I have had to deal with this story (this situation) for more than the past ten years. I started living out this story with all the hopes and dreams of most (if not all) young American girls; and I will finish this story by realizing most of those hopes and dreams, even though they have been interrupted for a time (in prison) that seems like time and time again. Through it all, I have managed to learn some life lessons that I hope to give to you; and I am hoping that you can pick up on these lessons earlier in life than I have done. I should have learned these lessons long ago. If I had learned these lessons long ago, I assure you that I would not have written the material you are now reading. My hope is that nobody else has to endure what I have endured learning life lessons that should be given to youngsters and adolescents early in life by the ones who truly love them. But here again, there are probably other youngsters and adolescents, much like me, who will have to learn these life lessons painfully for themselves, the hard way – by experiencing them first hand. Well, if you continue to read my story, here’s what you will experience – drugs, sex, violence, prison, utter devastation/humiliation, anger, hopelessness, despair, and finally happiness and hope!
If you don’t take me seriously and follow my path, you are going to experience false hope and disillusionment! You are going to experience broken trusts, by those whom you trusted most! You are going to experience pain and agony that brings you to the brink of self-destruction! You will lose your freedom! You will lose the right to think for yourself and to make your own decisions! You will lose your sense of self-worth and self-dignity! You are going to lose your ability to support yourself! You are going to lose your self-confidence! You are going to be victimized; and you can do little to avoid this! You will struggle and struggle and struggle just to get yourself back onto an even keel! But if you can ever manage to muster a tremendous mountain of stubbornness and determination, and if you can begin to think better of yourself, you will be able to recover most, but not all, of your ability to manage your own affairs while regaining some of your self-confidence and feeling of self-worth. I am just about to accomplish this in my life! Being just about able to accomplish this in my life is what has led me to (it has allowed me to) share my story with you. At first, I didn’t think I could ever share my story with anyone. But, I really don’t want you to actually share (live through) my experiences, even if you think you can handle it. Just read this story and do something positive in your own life.
I have broken my story into two parts in order to accommodate current limitations (maximum file size) present in the ebook publishing process. As presented in this work, my letters are real. The letters are images of the original documents, as written on available writting materials and under the most stressful conditions. Also, the Christmas cards, birthday cards, and greeting cards (original works of art direct from the hands of those who made them) are real. As such, the inclusion of these images of the original documents required too much computer storage space to publish my story as a single document; and I sincerely apologize for that situation. I certainly hope that this unfortunate situation does not seem to be such an imposition that you forego enjoying and benefiting from both the first and the second half of my story.
On the contrary, providing you access to my story in two parts has allowed me to, first of all, overcoome the immediate limits of the ebook publishing process, and secondly, to let you enjoy the first part as a preview of the rest of my story. If you enjoy the first part, you will certainly enjoy the second part in which I reap the rewards of my determined hard work to better myself. Actually, I enjoyed the second part more than the first, as well I expect you will enjoy the second part even more than the first part.
As defined in the following timeline of events, Part 1 of my story presents the “hard core” prison environment and what it took to survive (or what it took out of me). Part 2 of my story presents the realization that although survival is the “necessary” part of the story; it is not the part of the story that was “sufficient” to make me a better person. The determination, self-confidence, and perserverance, that could emerge only from hard work, were the ingredients sufficient for me to better my life. And these positive personal traits will be with me for the rest of my life.
Timeline of Events:
Her Letters from Prison – Part 1
- September 7, 2007 – LOCKUP: Jefferson Cnty Jail, Birmingham, AL
- October 18, 2007 – Department of Corrections Holding Facility
Her Letters from Prison – Part 2
March 21, 2008 – Tutwiller Prison for Women
- June 2, 2008 –Kilby Women’s Prison (Medium 4 Camp)
- November 13, 2008 – Parole
- November 27, 2008 – Life Tech came and took me from prison.
- August 13, 2009 – Released from Life Tech & Prison
Thank you for your own courage and perserverance as you consider my story and decide how it might benefit you in your life, or in the life of someone else who you value dearly.
November 1, 2007
I am astonished at the humiliation you have suffered as a result of this relocation. Do those people, if you can call them people, not have any human decency about them? I can almost understand that they must have some sort of rules regarding the length of the hair, but that is the most humiliating way of handling it I could have ever imagined.
They are not treating you as a human being. They have completely disregarded any sense of human dignity. You are indeed being subjected to a violation of basic human rights. What you went through was a sex side-show for the benefit of those male guards. You have been violated, and even under these circumstances it makes me furious! Forgive me for not being more considerate of your true situation in my past letters. I really had no idea that the “modern” prison system was so “in the dark ages”.
I know that you are exposed to people who have committed really bad crimes, but surely there’s a way to separate the really bad people and not treat everyone in such a disrespectful manner. You’ve got to be really careful. You’ve got to suspect everyone’s intentions. That haircutting session was nothing but sexual exploitation! People on the outside go to jail for that type of exploitive behavior. Why not the same rules for those guards? Watch your back at all times and trust nobody!
I know that you are absolutely sick about losing your hair. You had beautiful hair. It will grow back, but I’m sure that every time I think about this incident I will be furious – for a long, long time. OK, I’ll try to catch up with you and help replace the things that were taken away from you. Check again for how I can send you some money. You are going to need all your personal items again.
Is this the last time you will be moved, or will you have to go through this hell again? I’m really trying to help lessen your pain, and I’m sure you’re doing your best. I feel so helpless to help you.
Are your having to work at any particular job or something. That would probably help as a distraction. Check around to see what distracting things might be available. Surely there has to be something that resembles a positive thought in there. I have seen a few prison shows on TV, and there were libraries and books. There were even ministers who visited prisons. See what you can find, anything to break this cycle of exploitation. Can I send you anything like a book (a Bible)? Tell me what is allowed, and I will send it.
I will write again soon.